


How things are supposed to be

by Enj0ltaiRe



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Explicit Sexual Content, Hell no, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Reddie Centric, Strippers & Strip Clubs, not between reddie, stripper richie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 04:59:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enj0ltaiRe/pseuds/Enj0ltaiRe
Summary: Eddie Kasprak isn't gay. He is about to get married and live a happy married life with Myra.Then, his friends drag him to a male Strip Club and things go just as you'd expect them to go.





	How things are supposed to be

“You got to be fucking kidding me.” Eddie gaped, staring and the neon red sign with wide eyes and an expression of pure and utter horror painted all over his face. “What the fuck are we doing here?”

Mike laughed by his side, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and shaking him lightly. “Come on, don’t be so uptight! We’re going to have fun.” He grinned, flashing Eddie with his pearly white teeth.

The sign, blinding and intimidating, read “Boys, boys, boys!” with the silhouette of a man wearing a thong and a cop hat. The sound of muffled music reached Eddie’s ears and he felt a little sick in the stomach, because that wasn’t really how he had planned to spend the night of his bachelor party.

He would have planned a nice dinner, maybe wine tasting and then a round of poker, because that was what responsible men would have done to celebrate a friend getting married but no. He had agreed to let Bill, Stan, Mike and Ben organize him his party and, apparently, they thought it was going to be a great idea blindfold him, get him into a cab and lead him to a gay club.

“Guys, seriously, this isn’t funny.” Eddie said, eyeing his friends, with a frown on his face.

“Yes it is!” Bill argued, giggling. “We c-couldn’t bring you to a girls’ strip club, o-otherwise Myra would have f-freaked out s-so-“

“So we figured that a gay club was the better option.” Ben cut in, laughing and looking up at the sign.

Eddie was positively going to kill his friends.

First of all, he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t. He had a fiancé at home, the woman he had been with for the past three years. Eddie Kaspbrak wasn’t gay, so what was even the point in going to a club meant for gay people? What was the fun going to be in watching other men getting undressed, dancing around a dirty and sticky stage and grinding against desperate clients while wearing silly and ridiculous thongs?

Eddie wasn’t gay, and if his mouth started to water at those thoughts, it was probably because he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and he was really hungry.

Eddie Kaspbrak wasn’t gay. He had spent all his childhood and teenage years trying to convince the bullies that called him _fairy_ and _girly boy_ that he wasn’t. Being gay meant being insulted and beaten up and hated by everyone and Eddie wasn’t gay. He had a girlfriend that he was about to marry because he wasn’t gay.

He wasn’t.

“Think about it: you’re going to have to have the classic bachelor party experience without the whining wife part.” Mike said, wiggling his eyebrows and making Eddie scoff.

I don’t want to see other men like… like that!” He said, vaguely and nervously gesturing with his hands in the general direction of the neon sign. “I’m not gay.” He hissed, feeling the back of his neck sting a little.

“Dude, we know. Look, it’s just for fun, okay? Straight girls go to gay clubs all the time, you know?” Ben smiled warmly. 

“Myra has never been to a gay club.” Eddie pointed out, glaring at his friends.

“No shit.” Stan huffed, rolling his eyes and gaining an elbow in the ribs from Bill.

“Okay, firstly, what’s up with that tone of voice?” Eddie asked, raising a hand in Stan’s direction. “Secondly, Myra is a good woman. She goes to church every Sunday, she volunteers  for the activities and she makes the best hot chocolate in the whole world. You guys have tasted it! The one with the coconut flakes on top?”

“This is the lamest bachelor party _ever_.” Stan groaned, throwing his head back and looking up at the sky.

“You’ve never even b-been to one.”  Bill said, raising his eyebrows and folding his arms on his chest.

“I’ve seen enough rom coms to know what they should be like.” Stan sighed, leaning back against the wall. “This was a stupid idea.”

“No, it wasn’t!” Mike protested, taking charge of the whole situation. “Come on, Eddie, just relax, okay? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Me getting Chlamydia the second I sit on one of those dirty armchairs?” Eddie deadpanned, looking up at Mike and squinting his eyes in a suspicious way.

“That’s not how you get Chlamydia.” Stan pointed out, and Eddie didn’t even bother to answer him.

“If Myra finds out-“

“We won’t tell her if you don’t tell her.” Ben promised, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie thought that she was going to find out anyway. Myra always found out everything, she was like a bloodhound for lies. Sometimes Eddie had actually considered the idea of searching through his clothes for bugs or cameras around the house.

Myra wasn’t an easy woman, that much was for sure. She wasn’t a bad woman, per se, she was only demanding and complained a lot, just like his mother.

Just like his fucking mother.

They had met in college and they had started dating right away because Myra wanted them to. Eddie was 23, he really didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying that he wasn’t interested and suddenly three years had passed, he had proposed because his mother told him he should have and she had said yes.

Eddie loved  Myra. At least he thought he did. He loved coming back home from work and find the dinner ready, waking up to the smell of coffee in the morning. He loved how clean their house was, because Myra was a very clean person and she polished every single surface every day and swept the floors every morning and every night. Anytime Eddie tried to help, she would just dismiss him, saying that he didn’t knew the right way to do it and he was only going to be in her way.

“Fine.” Eddie eventually agreed. “But if I feel uncomfortable we leave. No questions.” He warned, and his friends immediately nodded, deciding to give him that much.

“Fair enough! But you got to promise that you’re going to give it a try and not hate it out of principle.” Ben grinned, bouncing on his feet like an excited kid in a candy store.

“I never make promises I’m not sure I can keep.” Eddie sighed, as the five of them walked through the main, black door which, in all honesty, felt much more like a black hole swallowing him down to Eddie.

Inside the club the music was much louder. As soon as they were in, they found themselves in front of a sort of reception, entirely draped with red velvet. The girl behind the counter was blond and she was chewing a gum in a excessively alluring way. She looked up at them and a smirked pulled at the corner of her red lips before she popped her gum.

“I thought this was a men only club.” Eddie whispered to Mike, making sure the girl couldn’t hear him.

“The performers are males, but they do have girls in the staff.” Mike replied, giving him an encouraging wink.

“We booked a table for five.” Ben said to the girl, smiling politely and almost professionally, almost as if they were there for a job meeting.

“Name?” She asked, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her index finger.

“Kaspbrak.”

“You gave my name?” Eddie asked, alarmed, eyes basically bugging out of his head. “Are you fucking insane?”

“Relax, cutie.” The girl said, clearly used to that kind of situation. “This is purely formal.” She assured him.

Eddie was muttering some irritated nonsense under his breath when another girl walked in, wearing high heels, a skirt that could have easily been a belt and a tank top with a black lace bra underneath. She had red  hair and piercing blue eyes, and Eddie thought she could have been a model or an actress instead of a stripper.

“Follow me.” He grinned, seductively, leading them inside the club.

The dim light of the place made it hard for Eddie to make sure the place was clean enough for his standards, but the pavement wasn’t sticky, which he considered a good thing. The table that his friends had booked was right in the middle of the room, in front of a relatively big stage with two poles on it and two men in nothing but their underwear grinding against them.

Sitting at the other tables there were both men and women, cheering and throwing dollar bills on the stage.

_So that does actually happen,_ Eddie thought, watching as the dancers dry humped the poles and people stretched to slip bills in their underwear.

The group of women next to them was being particularly loud, so loud that Eddie missed the part where their waitress took the order for their drinks.

“Don’t worry, Eddie. Strawberry Caipiroska. I’ve got you.” Mike assured him with a wink, while Ben gaped at the retrieving figure of the red head.

“You’re drooling all over yourself, man.” Stan teased him, making Ben blush and quickly look away from her.

“Hey, I have eyes and she is gorgeous. Sue me.” Ben leaned back against his armchair, checking his phone before he slipped it back into his pocket.

Soon enough, there were drinks in their hands, which Eddie was extraordinarily grateful for, because he really needed one.

“I’d like to toast the groom to be!” Mike said, raising his glass of Gin Tonic. “May your married life be happy and satisfying.” He wished him with a wide smile, and Eddie smiled in return.

“May you fuck the bitch out of Myra soon.” Stan muttered, making Eddie glare, Bill snort and slap his shoulder.

“Cheers!” Their glasses clung together and they all took big sips.

One drink turned into two drinks, then two drinks turned into three and suddenly Eddie wasn’t hating that place anymore. He wasn’t loving it, fuck no, but at least he was laughing. He was having a good time, mostly because he was there with his best friends.

Eddie loved his friends so much.

The music was still loud and the flashing lights were almost blinding sometimes, but there was something oddly relaxing about the way he couldn’t even hear himself thinking. He couldn’t hear the voice in  the back of his head reminding him that watching men dancing and strip on a stage was something that only fairies would have done. He couldn’t hear Myra’s voice yelling at him that he was doing something inappropriate, screeching about what the neighbors and his coworkers would have thought if they knew. He couldn’t hear his mother crying, and sobbing about how that wasn’t how she had raised him.

He couldn’t hear all of that and there was a wide grin on his lips, because it felt good. The drinks were sweet and fresh and the whole place was constantly sprayed with perfume, which made his head feel a little dizzy and his heart a little less heavy.

“Okay, Eddie, you have to promise us you won’t get mad!” Mike yelled above the music, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and laughing loudly in his ear.

“What? Why?” Eddie turned his head as the music suddenly changed.

A man walked on the stage, wearing a suit that looked really similar to the one Eddie had picked for his wedding day. It was black and the shirt was white, there was a bright red poppy in the buttonhole of the jacket’s pocket and his black shoes was so neatly polished they reflected the light.

The guys could have been around Eddie’s age. He had unruly dark curls that looked soft and fluffy under the red lights of the stage, he was tall and lean and the pants he was wearing were just too tight to be comfortable.

Eddie was staring.

He tuned out whatever Mike was saying and stared up at the man.

And the man stared down at him with a wicked grin on his face and a very much amused glint in his eyes.

“I heard we have a groom to be here tonight!” He said, putting his hands on his hips. The crowd cheered and Eddie flushed red, whipping his head so fast towards Bill that was a miracle his neck didn’t snap.

“You fucking didn’t.” Eddie gritted out.

“We fucking did.” Stan cut in, hiding his smirk behind his glass.

“He’s right here!” Ben yelled, pointing at Eddie with both his index fingers.

Now, Eddie was a generally quiet man. He didn’t like confrontation, he preferred sulking and muttering under his breath and, most importantly, he had never seriously considered murdering someone before.

That night, when the man laughed and hopped down, taking Eddie’s hand, dragging him back on the stage and sitting him down on a chair, he started to contemplate the most creative ways to kill his friends.

Eddie’ heart was hammering in his chest, his cheeks were warm and bright red and his eyes were so comically wide he must have looked like a scared lemur.

Bill, Stan, Mike and Ben were laughing so loudly Eddie could hear them better than the music. He was gripping the sides of the chair so tight that his knuckles was turning white.

That was a bad idea, he should have fucking seen it coming and he was going to hate his friends forever after this. They were all officially uninvited to the wedding. He was going to block them on social media, delete their phone numbers and find himself new friends. Friends that didn’t set up a gay strip tease for him during his bachelor party. Friends that didn’t laugh and clap each time the man standing behind him said something particularly allusive.

Eddie was so tense on that chair that every single nerve in his body was a second away from snapping broken. The stripper waited for a new song to start and Eddie was so not ready for whatever was about to happen.

And of course, of _fucking_ course, the song his friends had picked was by Taylor Swift.

He once told them she wasn’t bad and sang along with her lyrics in the car and that was all it tool for them to start an endless tease about it.

Eddie had to admit that the song was pretty sexy and he could have even found it funny if only he had had a million drinks more than the three he had downed.

The beat pumped under Eddie’s ribcage as the stripper started dancing in front of him, moving his hips fast in a thrusting-like motion that made Eddie flush even more.

_Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him_

_Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted_

The stripper dropped on his knees in front of Eddie and pushed his knees apart, making him gasp in surprise and hold onto the chair even tighter than he already was as he slid between them, standing back up slowly, sliding his large and pale hands up Eddie’s tense thighs.

_Are you ready for it?_

Eddie almost shook his head at the lyrics, because fuck no, he wasn’t for any of that. He wasn’t ready to have a dancing stranger between his legs and watching him as he took the jacket of the suit he was wearing off and threw it away, making the women scream and the men whistle loudly.

The shirt fitted his lean figure perfectly and Eddie stared up at him, watching as the man winked at him and turned towards the crowd, squatting down all of a sudden and grinding his ass against Eddie’ crotch in rhythm with the music.

Eddie didn’t know if it was the alcohol or a mental breakdown, but he started giggling and shaking his head as the stripper danced in front of him. His legs were still open wide, and, without even noticing it, his teeth had sunk down in his lower lips.

He wanted another drink because his mouth was very dry and it was suddenly really hot in the club.

Wasn’t it?

_In the middle of the night, in my dreams_

_You should see the things we do, baby_

_In the middle of the night, in my dreams_

_I know I’m gonna be with you_

_So I take my time_

Eddie almost shuddered when he was pulled up on his feet and the stripper sunk on his knees again, right in front of him and holding his hips so tight Eddie wondered if there were going to be bruises afterwards.

For some reason, he didn’t even care about that.

The man looked up at him with a wicked grin on his face and licked his lips so slowly and so erotically that the blood in each and every vein in Eddie’s body stirred, especially in those alarmingly close to his groin. He breathed out shakily when the stripper stood back up, slowly, letting their bodies slid and mould together. They stared into each other’ eyes and suddenly Eddie didn’t feel so tense anymore.

He didn’t feel tense as the man spun him under his arm and pulled Eddie’s back flushed against his chest, keeping an arm wrapped around him, his other hand firmly curved around Eddie’s hip and his face hidden in the crook of his neck.

Eddie didn’t feel tense and he definitely didn’t know what demon possessed him when he tilted his head to the side, letting those sinful lips brush against his skin and stop against his pulse point.

_I see how this is gonna go_

_Touch me and you’ll never be alone_

_Island breeze and lights down low_

_No one has to know_

Eddie had his eyes closed, so he couldn’t see his friends faces but, for some reason, he couldn’t even hear their laughs anymore.

The stripper grinded his hips against his ass, making Eddie gasp for air and his head fall back against his shoulder. He was suddenly being spun around and their eyes met again. Eddie looked at him through his half closed lashes and genuinely whimpered when the man legitimately tore the shirt he was wearing off of himself.

Eddie’s eyes went wide as he stared as his toned chest the curves of his defined abs and biceps. The only sign of hair on his body was the trail of dark hair that followed the underside of his navel and the waistband of his pants. Eddie’s mouth definitely didn’t water at the sign of that gorgeous V-line and he most definitely didn’t want to trace it with his tongue, seeing where it would have led him.

But he didn’t want that, because he wasn’t gay.

He wasn’t.

He had a fiancé at home, sleeping in their bed, and that’s where he was supposed to be, not between the arms of a shirtless stranger that was grinding against his ass so slow and so good that Eddie felt his vision go blurry and his pants becoming so uncomfortably tight that he just _knew_ everyone in the room could see how hard he was.

_You should see the things we do, baby_

Eddie held onto his shoulders as he picked him up, moving his hips and pretending he was thrusting into him in a way that made Eddie wish he was.

God, why did he wish he was?

_In the middle of the night, in my dreams_

_I know I’m gonna be with you_

“Can I get a loud round of cheers for this gorgeous groom that was game enough to play along?” The stripper said, loudly, putting Eddie back down on his wiggling knees, but keeping an arm securely wrapped around his waist. He was breathing heavily and Eddie couldn’t really blame him.

The public clapped and cheered and Eddie had to blink himself back to reality. He ran off stage and back in the secure comfort of his arm chair, downing the first drink he found on the glass table and coughing from how strong it was.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked, eyebrows raised and an all too entertained grin on his face.

“Fine!” Eddie croaked out, vigorously nodding his head and drinking a sip of another drink, much more sweeter than the other.

“Hey, you did so good! We were afraid you were going to bolt.” Stan said, patting Eddie’s shoulder in a mock empathic way.

“Fuck off, I hate you all.” Eddie hissed, glaring daggers.

“Y-You’re gonna hate us eve m-more now.” Bill chuckled, chewing on his lower lip.

“Oh god.”  Eddie groaned, slumping against the backrest. “What now?”

“We may have paid for a private show.” Mike was struggling to hold back his laughter. “You looked like you were enjoying it, so we thought it would have been a good idea.”

“Mike, make me a fucking favor. The next time you guys think you had a good idea, fucking trash it, okay?” Eddie snapped, running a hand through his hair like he did when he was nervous. His friends chuckled and, before he could even catch his breath again, the girl with the red hair and the legs excessively long was right in front of him, smiling.

“Follow me, sir.” She said, walking towards a door that wasn’t really a door, but a thick, velvet red curtain.

“Come on, Eddie. Live a little.” Mike suggested, giving Eddie’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

His legs moved on their own. They pulled him on his unsteady feet and dragged him behind that red curtain. The music there was completely different, much more slow and low. There were a lot of small cabins, each of them with its own curtain. The waitress pulled one open and smiled at Eddie, gesturing towards the little velvet couch that was inside.

“He will be here any second now.” She assured him, closing the curtain behind him and leaving him alone.

Eddie took a couple of deep breaths and paced the small space. He considered the possibility of leaving. He considered the possibility of leaving fifty bucks on the couch and bolt as fast as he could, but, before he could worry any longer, the same man that made him hard in his pants not more than ten minutes before, was right in front of him.

He gently pushed him back on the couch and Eddie fell right on top of it, sitting rigidly and looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I have a fiancé.” He said, clearing his throat and avoiding his gaze. “My friends are jerks.” He shook his head and tried to control his breathing.

Then, there was someone sitting next to him and a hand on his thigh. A thumb was rubbing circles and Eddie’s eyes shifted closed for a second. “You’d be surprised to know how many times I’ve heart those exact same words.” The man laughed huskily. “How old are you?”

“26.” Eddie managed to breath out as the man next to him cupped his inner thigh, squeezing lightly and pulling his leg open.

“And you’re already getting married? Remarkable.” He grinned. “What’s your name?”

“Eddie.” He said, maybe too quickly.

“Is it your real name?”

He nodded, biting his lower lip. “Well, it’s- it’s Edward. Eddie is a nickname.” He clarified, feeling like an awkward child who was introducing himself in front of a class of students. “What’s your name?” He asked, turning his head to look at him and, god, he wished he didn’t.

That face looked like it had been sculpted by Michelangelo himself, with perfect cheekbones and a jaw line so sharp that he could have cut his finger by touching it. His eyes were big and dark and, fuck, was that _eyeliner_?

“R.” He replied, making Eddie blink in surprise.

“Like the letter?”

“Like the letter.” R confirmed, licking his lips and grinning. “So, who’s the lucky man?” He asked, toying with the collar of Eddie’s shirt.

“That’s the whole point. It’s not a man, I’m engaged to a woman. I’m not gay. This,” He gestured to the space around him. “Is all a big joke.”

R raised his eyebrows in surprise and a smile tugged at his lips. “Are you serious?” He asked, clearly amused by the whole situation.

“Yes! I shouldn’t even be here. I wanted to go out for dinner and taste different types of red wine and, I don’t know, play cards games or something!” He whined, running his hands though his hair and hiding his face between his hands. “This is the worst night of my life.” He realized what he had said a second after he spoke, and he quickly looked up at R, eyes wide with regret.  “That’s not- I mean, you… You are great! Really, I mean it, you are so, so great.” He said, sounding a little breathless as he spoke the last words because he got lost in those big, brown eyes. “But this isn’t me.”

R smiled and reached up with a hand, catching Eddie’s chin between his fingers and staring into his eyes. “Who are you, then?”

Eddie looked up at him and his heart swelled in his chest. “I’m…  I’m a normal person. I go to work, I come home, I read the newspaper and I drink my coffee with two sugars and a splash of milk.” He replied, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. “Who are you?”

R thought about it, but his eyes never moved away from Eddie’s. “I’m exactly what you see.”

Eddie saw the most beautiful and attractive man he had ever laid his eyes on. He saw someone that could make his stomach tighten and his heart flutter in his chest. Someone who could make him hard in his pants for the second time in fifteen minutes with only a hand on his thigh.

Without saying anything, R pulled Eddie on his lap, gripping his hips tight and grinding up against him. Eddie moaned obscenely, throwing his head back and wrapping his arms around his shoulders because, god, he was more worked up than he had ever been in his entire life.

Actually,  at that moment, he thought that maybe he had never even been worked up before. He wanted nothing more than tear R’s shirt away and lick his way down his chest, bite and suck his skin, taste it on his tongue.

But he wasn’t fucking gay, so what the hell was going on with him?

“This is how it’s supposed to feel.” R said in Eddie’s ear, sliding his hands up Eddie’s thighs and brushing his lips over his neck. “When you’re with her, this is how you should feel. This is how much you should want her.”

Eddie closed his eyes, thinking about the times they kissed and the way Myra always seemed to be as rigid as a stone. Not that Eddie was particularly into it, but when he closed his eyes and let his fantasy run towards images he was too afraid to face, she had always pushed him back.

“She wants to wait until we’re married.” Eddie breathed, burying his fingers between those gorgeous curls.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

R licked his lips, smiling. “Do you want to wait until you’re married?”

Eddie shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t mind.”

“Because you respect her choice, or because you don’t care?”

The question left Eddie speechless, because he had never really thought about it. Sex with Myra wasn’t something he thought about, nor even looked forward to. He imagined himself on top of her, inside her and the mere image made his stomach turn and his nose wrinkle.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “I shouldn’t be here.” He tried to stand up but R winded an arm around him, keeping their chests flushed together and his lips a mere inch away from Eddie’s.

“This is _exactly_ where you should be, Eds.” He breathed against his lips, making Eddie shudder and hold onto the collar of R’s shirt.

“I’m not gay.” Eddie protested weakly, chewing on his bottom lip. “This… This is wrong. I’m not gay, I’m engaged, I’ll be married in two months.”

“A lot of things can happen in two months.”

Eddie opened his eyes and met R’s gaze. “What could happen?”

R’s hands slid up Eddie’s back until it reached his neck, then curved around his cheek. R’s thumb pressed against Eddie’s lower lip and parted it from the upper, letting it rest there and making Eddie grip tighter onto him as, without even thinking about it, he teased the fingertip with his tongue.

“You could meet someone new.”  R whispered, letting his thumb slip inside Eddie’s mouth. Eddie immediately wrapped his lips around it, sucking it slowly and running his tongue around it.

He didn’t even use the restaurants’ forks until he had cleaned them with his disinfectant wipes and now he was sucking a stripper’s thumb that god only knew where it had been.

He didn’t stop.

There was a glint in R’s eyes, a sparkle that made Eddie want to bury his hands in those wild curls, tug and crash their lips together. No one had ever looked at him the was R was. No one had ever touched him like that, held him like that, and Eddie wanted it all and more.

R thrust his hips up and Eddie felt that he was hard as well. He parted his lips and his thumb fell out of his mouth, but he was quick to make up for it as he brought their faces close to each other. Eddie could feel R’s fast breathing on his lips and his arms tightening around him, which only made Eddie more desperate.

“Why do I want you?” Eddie breathed out, moaning when Richie guided his hips into a grinding motion with his hands.

He was right in the middle of an inner conflict and he didn’t know how on earth he was going to come out of it. He was sitting on a stranger’s lap, hard as a rock in his pants and he was grinding against him. Against another man.

And it felt so fucking good.

R looked up at him. His eyes were darker than they were before and his hands were rougher on Eddie.

“Why do I fucking want you?” Eddie asked again, panting against R’s lips and whimpering when the man grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer.

Why did he fucking wanted him? Why was he having such an hard time breathing?

“That’s what happens when you’re attracted to someone, Eds.”  R said with a cheeky grin.

“That’s not my name.” Eddie said, bumping his nose against R’s. “Do you do this often?” He asked, sliding his hands against R’s chest.

“Engage conversations with clients?”  R teased, smiling up at him and holding his hips still. He chuckled and then shook his head. “I get paid to let my clients have fun. It doesn’t necessarily mean having sex. I’m not a hooker.” He explained, running his hands up Eddie’s sides. “I have sex with those I like the most.” He confided to him.

“Does that happen a lot?” Eddie asked again, pushing his lower lip forward and stroking the man’s cheekbones with his thumbs.

“Why? Do you want to be special?”

_Yes_.

“I don’t want to have sex with you. I’m engaged.” Eddie bit his bottom lip and shuddered when R’s lips brushed against his. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t either.”

Eddie looked in his eyes and kept cradling R’s face between his hands. “No one has ever touched me like this before.” He admitted, watching as the expression in the other man’s eyes softened. “I know that I’m just another client to you. I’m not that stupid to believe that I’m special.”

“You’re just another client, I’m just another stripper.” Richie held him closer and brought a hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s neck. “We’re a match made in heaven.” He whispered.

“Do you usually talk this much with your clients?” Eddie teased, which made R smirk.

“Why? Would you like me to put my mouth to better use?” He brought their lips closer. “And maybe show you what is like to _want_ and be _wanted_?”

Eddie’s eyes drifted closed and his lips parted against his will. They were so close that Eddie could smell the cigarette on R’s breath and not once in his life he had ever thought he would have longed to taste it, but there he was, running his tongue over a man’s bottom lip and tasting the nicotine that was still lingering there.

R whimpered beneath him and his hands squeezed Eddie’s hips. They both looked at each other through half closed lids and then, all of a sudden, there was a tongue sliding against his own. They weren’t kissing, not yet, because their lips weren’t touching, but it didn’t take long for that.

Eddie grabbed a fistful of R’s hair and tugged him forward, crashing their lips together with so much strength that he heard the man groan in surprise.

And then there were hands pulling at each other’s clothes, teeth biting each other’s skin and lips sliding together like they had been made to do just so.

R flipped them over and pressed Eddie down on the cushions, desperately grinding against him and thrusting his tongue inside Eddie’s mouth.

“Your name… Tell me your name.” Eddie pleaded, kissing him back with just as much urgency and sliding his hands under R’s shirt.

The man didn’t answer, making Eddie almost forget all about his question and get lost in the sensations again, until he stroked Eddie’s hair away from his ear. “Richie.” He murmured, nibbling the soft spot under Eddie’s ear and then kissing it. “My name is Richie.”

Richie.

_Richie_.

Eddie and Richie.

_EddieandRichie._

Eddie was euphoric. He felt like he wasn’t even on earth anymore, but floating in space with a man between his legs and it was marvelous.

It was everything Eddie had always feared, and now he felt like he and never wanted anything more.

Richie was kissing him so deep and so good that his toes were curling in his shoes. He had never imagined that kissing could have been so satisfying. Kissing Myra was like kissing his mother. Wrong.

Kissing Richie was like coming to life again.

He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist and pulled Eddie’s hair, which made him groan and kiss him a little harder.

Eddie was so hard it was starting to hurt. He told Richie as much. He told him that he had never be that hard before and pleaded him to touch him, to feel what he was doing to him.

“Fuck, baby, the mouth on you.” Richie sighed, fumbling with Eddie’s belt, unfastening it.

Eddie lifted his hips up pressing the bulge in his underwear against Richie’s hand and crying out at the feeling. “Fuck me, Richie. _Please_.”

He didn’t want to be one of those clients, but he couldn’t help himself.

He was hard, he wanted to come, and he wanted to do it while Richie was inside him, thrusting like his life depended on it.

_You’re such a girly boy._

_This is not how I have raised you, Eddie Bear!_

_You’ve cheated on me? With a man!?_

_Faggot_.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away all those voices, all those memories that kept hunting him. He didn’t want to think anymore about how it felt to be tormented in school, being called names and deprived by his right to have _feelings_. He didn’t want to think about the punches, the kicks, the laughter, the night spent crying himself to sleep.

_You’re such a fucking fairy, Kaspbrak, you make me fucking sick._

Eddie pushed Richie away and his eyes shot open, almost as he had just been burned with the tip of a cigarette. “No, no, stop!” He cried, pushing Richie off of him and standing up.

“What- wait, what’s going on?” Richie ran a hand though his curls, breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

“I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m not- no! This is wrong.” He shook his head, feeling his head fuzzy and his knees weak.

“Hey, hey, baby, breathe.” Richie stood up and cupped Eddie’s cheeks, but Eddie pushed him back.

“Don’t touch me!” He cried, holding a hand up in front of him, looking at Richie. “I am _not_ a faggot.”

Richie blinked his eyes and tried to get close to him again. “Of course you aren’t, Eddie. That’s such a fucking disgusting word.”

“This is wrong. All of this is wrong. I have a fiancé. I… I love her.” His voice was starting to break and tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m not gay.” He whispered, shaking his head and ignoring the tears that were running down his cheeks. “I’m not.”

Richie ignored Eddie’s protests and pulled him between his arms, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying his hand in Eddie’s soft curls. “Whoever did this to you, Eddie, it doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t keep fighting who you really are, or you’re going to be trapped in your own life forever.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. “You know nothing about me.” He managed to say, fighting his tears back.

“Have you any idea of how many men I’ve met that were just like you? Terrified by how much they wanted to touch another man, scared of what people might think. It’s no fucking picnic, Eddie, I can give you that much.” Richie caught Eddie’s chin between his fingers and tilted his head up. “But you can either live the rest of your life pretending to be someone you’re not, or admit that you just begged me to fuck you because that’s what you want. That’s who you are.”

“I don’t want you.” Eddie lied, out of pride and fear. Mostly fear. “I am drunk, okay? I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Then go back to your friends and drink some more. Maybe you’ll even manage to forget everything about this.” He wiped Eddie’s tears away with his thumb and then dropped his hand.

 “You are exactly what I have always been warned from.” Eddie took a step back, shaking his head. “This is not how things are supposed to be.” He said, gesturing back and forth between the two of them.

“Fuck how things are supposed to be.” Richie said, reaching out to touch Eddie again, but he pulled the curtain open.

“Goodbye, Richie.” Eddie said and, before the other man could say anything else, he was hurrying back to his friends.

 

* * *

 

 

Eddie was lying in bed with his eyes fixed on the ceiling and his mind still in that night club.

Myra was snoring next to him, laying on her back with her mouth hanging open . Eddie believed that someone could have find her attractive: she had round hips and generous breasts, she had brown hair and green-ish eyes that used to turn slightly blue when it was particularly sunny outside. Yes, Myra was conventionally attractive, but Eddie couldn’t bring himself to desire her. He had never imagined her hand when he jerked off, nor dreamed about her when they first started dating. He had never missed her when they weren’t together and he had never wanted to touch her under her clothes.

He was actually glad that Myra wanted to wait before they had sex, because that meant he had more time. More time to figure out what was wrong with him and why he didn’t want to sleep with his girlfriend like any normal man would.

But god, he did want to touch Richie under his clothes. He wanted to be touched under his clothes.

He wanted to have sex with him. He turned his head and groaned in the pillow, running a hand through his hair and pulling it nervously. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gritted out, making Myra stir by his side.

“Eddie bear? What’s going on?” She mumbled, sleepily.

“Nothing, darling. Go back to sleep.”

Myra yawned and turned her back to him. “Where did you go tonight?”

“To a restaurant, like I had told you. We had a good time.” He lied, looking at the nape of her neck and watching as he breathing evened out again.

Yes, Myra was probably the type of person that another man could have gone crazy about. Clean, caring, pretty and quiet.

Eddie sighed and went back to stare at the ceiling. He wondered what it would have been like to lay in bed with someone he wasn’t afraid to touch. Someone to roll between the sheets with, laughing and cuddling. Eddie had never had any of that. Myra didn’t want Eddie to touch her during the night and Eddie didn’t want to touch her.

_Why are we getting married?_

He closed his eyes and tried to forget all about Richie. He tried to destroy every single memory, or at least lock them into some forgotten area of his brain, but the tingle of Richie’s lips against his own was still there. The burning desire of getting to _feel_ him was still there. He bit his lower lip, turning his back to her as well and hiding his face in the pillow.

Eddie wanted to cry and scream and throw something against the wall, but he just laid in bed instead.

He was going to be married in two months, whether he liked it or not. He couldn’t let everyone down. He couldn’t let his mother down, not after everything she had done for him.

And maybe, one day, everything would have turned out okay. Maybe he was just having a phase of confusion, he was just stressing out because of the wedding.

Yeah, everything was going to back to normal. Myra was going to be his wide, and that was how things were supposed to be.

_Fuck how things are supposed to be._

He closed his eyes as Richie’s voice filled his head up, making him feel warm again and clutch the sheets against his chest.

_Richie, Richie, Richie._

_Richie._

Eddie tried to push away every single memory of that night for five days.

They feelt like the longest five days of his life. He pretended he didn’t think about Richie’s lips whenever Myra leaned in to peck his lips, he pretended he didn’t think about Richie’s body pressed against his own while he stroked himself in the shower, fast and angry, sinking his teeth down on his bottom lip and hating himself because he came hard and choking back Richie’s name.

Richie, the stripper. Richie, the one who fucked with the clients he liked the most behind a red curtain, in the dim light. Richie, the one who undressed himself for money.

Eddie couldn’t believe that, between all people, he had started to develop interest for a stripper.

He hated himself even more for that. He tried to go back to his ordinary life: going to work, coming back home, showering every night and every morning, making sure the bills had been paid.

_Dull, dull, dull._

Everything seemed so dull and so pointless that it was almost depressing.  Every day was just the same, nothing new ever happened.

_Dull._

“I’ve signed us up for dance lessons.” Myra said while she was stirring the sauce.

Eddie looked up from his phone with an eyebrow raised. “Dance lessons?”

“For our first dance.” Myra sighed, almost as if it was completely obvious. Maybe it even was, but Eddie’s mind was so far away from the wedding that he hadn’t even taken it into consideration.

Their first dance as husband and wife. Their first dance, during their wedding, on their wedding day.

Eddie’s stomach twisted and knotted, but he only cleared his throat. “Oh, right. Of course.”

“We need to be ready, sweetie. I don’t want to look dumb in front of the girls.” She turned her head and smiled at him.

She looked pretty. She had her hair tied up in a messy bun, she was wearing high waist jeans with a pink t-shirt tucked in them. Eddie thought that he should have wanted to palm Myra’s round ass and give it a squeeze, but he didn’t. He just thought she was wearing a nice pair of jeans that looked good on her.

“Yeah, no, I get it. Dance lessons. It’s a good idea.” He kept scrolling his facebook feed and then looked up at her again. “When are we going?”

“We start tomorrow night. Two times a week for four weeks, how does that sound? The guy I’ve talked to said that he can teach us basically whatever kind of dance we want, and of course we want a traditional waltz, because it’s a traditional wedding. He said he also has a female colleague if we feel more comfortable with a woman, but we don’t want you to run off to the sunset with some girl right before our wedding, right?” Myra chuckled, but Eddie knew she meant every single world.

“That would never happen, sweetheart.”

_Literally, that would never happen._

The building was made of green bricks, large windows and a couple of graffiti near the front door. Eddie’s grip tightened around the strap of his bag and his nose wrinkled when he smelled the faint scent of sweat inside.

There was a long corridor of doors, each of them had a number printed on and Eddie wondered if the smell was just as bad inside each of those rooms.

“Ah, you must be Myra Kaspbrak.” A voice said from behind their backs, and Eddie’s blood froze in his veins because no, there was no way that the universe would have done this to him. He didn’t deserve this.

“Not yet.” She giggled, squeezing Eddie’s hand as she turned. “But will be very soon.”

Eddie turned very slowly and yes, he had heard right.

Richie.

_Richie_.

Their eyes met and Richie’s widened for a second, but he didn’t let anything more than that show his surprise. “Well, aren’t you just a lovely couple?” He grinned, making Eddie want to punch him right in the face. “Myra, why don’t you go to Studio 3 and start to get ready? My colleague’s inside, she’ll help you pick the right music. I’ll steal your man for some paper work.” He said with another charming smile.

“Of course! My Eddie is so good with forms.” She squeezed Eddie’s bicep and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, honey.”

Eddie hummed and nodded, watching as Myra disappeared behind the door with the 3 hung on top of it.

After a moment of silence, his head snapped back to Richie. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He hissed, walking towards him.

“What do you mean what the fuck am I doing here? I work here.” Richie whispered, clearly trying to keep it low and not cause a scene.

“I thought you worked at ‘Boys, boys, boys!’” Eddie said, probably sounding meaner than he intended to. “Now you’re a dance teacher?”

“I’m a dance teacher _and_ a stripper. Gotta pay the bills somehow, you know?” Richie was smirking, and Eddie hated himself for how attractive he found him. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Eds. I’m not going to say a word.”

“Good, because there is nothing to say.” Eddie poked his chest with his index finger. “Nothing ever happened. That night never existed. We’ve just met.” He punctuate every sentence with another poke, making Richie chuckle. “You think this is funny?”

“Yes, actually.” Richie replied easily. “Very much so.”

“You’re an asshole.” Eddie hissed, glaring up at him.

Richie stared down in his eyes and, for a second, Eddie’s knees felt like jelly. “You’re no saint yourself.”

“Eddie bear!” Myra opened the door, wearing leggings and a large t-shirt. “Are you ready?”

“I’ll be right there, darling.” Eddie called back, then glared back at Richie.

“I expect you to be professional.” Eddie whispered, and Richie grinned.

“I’ve always been professional.”

Eddie glared again and grabbed his bag from the ground, storming inside the studio and feeling his heart beating his way out of his chest.

_Breathe, Eddie._

The studio smelled so distinctively like Richie that he was intoxicating. He turned and opened the window without thinking twice about it, feeling hot all over.

“So, you said that you wanted to learn Waltz, right? Do you have any prior experience with dancing?” Richie asked, closing the door behind his back and stretching his arms. Eddie’s mouth watered at the sight of his flexing biceps and shoulders and wished Riche was wearing a sweater, not a bloody tank top.

“Yes, we’re having a traditional wedding.” Myra grinned, wrapping her arms around Eddie and kissing his cheek. “I’ve taken dance classes for years, but Eddie is a bit stiff.” She chuckled, biting her lower lip.

“Oh, I can see that.” Richie laughed. Eddie glared daggers, while Myra just smiled, not really sure of whether she was supposed to laugh or not. “You should stretch a bit before we start. Sore muscles are your worst enemies.”

Eddie tried to move away from Myra’s grasp and she finally let go of him.

They stretched and warmed up until Richie moved towards the stereo, flicking between the CDs. “Okay, so, before we begin, show me what you can do.” He pressed play and the room was filled with soft, slow music. 

Eddie wasn’t really sure of what he was supposed to do with his hands, so Richie stepped in. “You have to hold her waist, like this.” He gently took Eddie’s hand and guided it to Myra’s side. Myra took Eddie’s other hand and held it up, then started moving. Eddie stumbled back and Myra huffed, annoyed.  At their second attempt, Eddie stepped on Myra’s foot and she groaned, rolling her eyes so hard he was afraid they were going to fall off. Richie stopped them after the third failed attempt, putting a hand on Myra’s shoulder. “You should let him lead, sweetheart.” He told Myra.

“But he doesn’t know how to.” She pointed out, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“That’s why we’re here. To _learn_.”

“I don’t need to learn, I already know how to dance Waltz!” She protested, moving away from Eddie’s hold.

“Then why did you want to come here if you’re so good already!?” Eddie snapped, making Myra flush in anger.

“Because _you_ are not and I don’t want you to step on my new shoes on our wedding day!”

“Okay!” Richie cut in, clapping his hands together and grinning in an uncomfortable and amused way. “Relax, okay? Dance is about harmony.” He said, and Eddie scoffed. “You need to feel that connection when you dance.” Richie said, looking at Eddie and making him shiver. “Your partner needs to feel that you’re comfortable.”

Their eyes met for a second and Eddie licked his lips, holding his breath.

“Maybe you should be taking lessons then.” Myra said, putting her hands on her hips. “You’re the one who’s as stiff as a stick, after all, not me.”

Eddie blinked and looked at her in confusion. “I thought you wanted to do this together. This was _your_ idea.”

“Well, _maybe_ I’ve changed my mind?” Myra hissed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want to pay for something I’m already good at.” She grabbed her bag from the corner of the room, where she had left it. “We’ll rehearse our first dance the last two weeks, hoping that you’ll at least be decent by that point.”

“It’s nice to know that we’re in this together.” Eddie gritted out. Myra flipped her hair back and shrugged.

“I still have to choose the flowers anyway, so I don’t have any time to waste.”  She pouted and looked at Eddie. “You understand, right?”

“Not really, but whatever.” Eddie said, shrugging.

Richie looked between the two of them and Myra smiled at him. “Be patient with him.” She said, then waved. “I’ll see you at home, sweetie.” She chirped, leaving the studio.

What followed, was a long, uncomfortable silence.

Then, Richie started laughing.

Eddie glared at him, but then he started laughing  as well.

“That was-“ Richie chuckled, shaking his head.

“Welcome to my world.” Eddie wiped his teary eyes and kept giggling.

Richie grabbed Eddie’s hips and pulled him close to him, making him gasp and take hold of Richie’s tank top. “I thought you were off duty.” He said, looking up at him and glancing at his lips.

“I am.” Richie grinned, leaning down.

And Eddie really was just a breath away to let Richie kiss him, but then he pushed him away, vigorously shaking his head. “Na-uh. No. Red alert, nope.” He said, holding a hand up to keep distance between them. “This is not happening.”

Richie folded his arms on his chest, looking at Eddie with a fond and amused expression on his face. “What’s not happening?”

“ _This_.”

“And what’s this?” He insisted.

“This thing between you and me. It’s not happening.” Eddie said quickly. “I. Have. A. Fiancé. I’m not going to throw everything away and have an affair with another man!”

“An affair? You sound like a Jane Austen’s character.” Richie joked, running a hand though his hair.

“Stop it. You’re going to teach me how to dance and then I’ll waltz my way out of here.”

Richie laughed, loud and beautiful, throwing his head back and making Eddie want to press his lips and his tongue on that pale throat.

“We better get started, then.” Richie flashed him with a cheeky smile and Eddie squinted his eyes. “What? I meant with the training.”

“I hate you so much.” Eddie hissed.

_I want you so much._

* * *

 

 

Eddie hadn’t took feelings into consideration.

He could deal with desire, because desire was something he could have easily controlled. He could have managed to spend two hours in the dance studio, touching and being touched, breathing the same air as Richie and feeling his hands on the bare skin of his arms. He could have dealt with the stares, the lingering looks, the burning need to tear the clothes off of Richie right then and there, because he was a grown man and not an hormonal teenager anymore. He knew how to control his impulses and no, tearing the clothes off of his dance instructor, which just casually happened to be the same stripped he had begged to fuck him, during the rehearsals for his wedding day, didn’t seem  like the greatest idea.

Even though it definitely did sound like one.

But no, Eddie could ignore the desire. He could ignore it until he was alone in the shower, anyway.

What he couldn’t ignore, though, were the feelings.

He couldn’t ignore the way his heart picked up his race every time Richie smiled at him, the way he always wanted to laugh when he was around Richie. He couldn’t ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach, the way they seemed to have been born to dance together, swaying at the rhythm of music. He couldn’t ignore the way he spent his nights awake, thinking about him and feeling like a teenager again.

He couldn’t ignore that.

“So, wait a second.” Stan said, eyebrows furrowed and mimosa stopped halfway to his mouth. “The stripper we paid during your bachelor party is now your dance teacher?” He asked, incredulously. “And you’re starting to have feelings for him?” He added, still holding his flute up. “And you’re telling us this _now_?”

“Jesus, Stan, why don’t you talk a little louder? The people on the other side of the city probably didn’t hear you.” Eddie hissed, looking around himself to make sure no one had heard.

They were sitting in their favorite brunch place. Eddie loved brunch, it was relaxing and the food was great and, once a month, he treated himself with everything he denied himself any other day.

“B-but he’s a man.” Bill said, cutting his sausage.

“Really? Oh shit, Bill. I didn’t notice. This changes everything.” Eddie said in mock surprise and Ben snorted.

“What Bill means is that, well, you’re marrying a woman.” He pointed out.

“Okay, first of all, the spectrum is really wide, you ignorant fuckers.” He said, holding his index finger up. “Second of all, I’m not saying I’m gay. Third, I’m not calling off the wedding for a stupid infatuation on a man who strips for money and fourth,” He cut himself off, reaching forward the glass of mimosa in front of him. “Nothing happened since the bachelor party, and nothing will.” He concluded.

His friends exchanged looks. “So… You cheated on Myra.” Mike said, and Eddie choked on his drink.

“What? No. No, hold on.” He said, shaking his head. “I didn’t _cheat_. I was drunk and confused and not really sure of what was going on. I kissed him, yeah, okay, but it doesn’t mean anything.”

“You’re right. You deserve the ‘Groom to Be of the Year’ award.” Stan deadpanned. Everyone except for Eddie chuckled.

“Fuck off. It was just a distraction.”

“But you just said you’re starting to have feelings for this guy.” Mike said, glancing at Eddie before stuffing his mouth with pancakes.

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to run off to the sunset with him! I’m not gay, this is just… Just an infatuation.”

“Just an infatuation.” Ben repeated, looking everything but convinced. “Hey, can you ask your infatuation for the red head’s number?”

Eddie glared at him and Ben raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, never mind.”

Eddie sighed and rubbed his eyes, downing what was left in his glass and leaning back against his chair.

Eddie had always hated the concept of cheating, ever since he was a little kid. He couldn’t process the idea of cheating on the person you loved with someone else, because, if you really loved someone, you shouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else. He had never thought about cheating on Myra before, but maybe that was because the entire section of his brain dedicated to feelings and attraction went completely numb. He simply wasn’t interested. It was almost as if Myra had smothered whatever kind of physical impulse he might have had.

He was supposed to wait for her, that’s what his mother and her kept repeating.

The children of God wait until marriage.

Eddie had never cared about that. He wasn’t even sure he believed in God. Maybe he did out of conditioning, but there was nothing genuine about his faith. He didn’t care about church, he didn’t say grace before meals (even though Myra kept doing it for him) and he didn’t believe kids died because God needed another angel.

Mostly, he didn’t care. He just went along.

Eddie hated going along.

He felt like his brain had been sedated ever since he was little.

Sometimes Eddie felt like screaming. He felt like punching and crashing anything around him, crying and picking up a fight just to get punched. Just to get to _feel_ something.

And, hell, Richie made him feel so many things.

The mere thought of Richie’s arms around his waist as they spun around the studio, incapable of keeping a serious expressions, was enough to send shivers down his spine and make him smile. Eddie loved those moments. He loved the way Richie always tried to kiss him after a particularly heated bickering session or choreography and he loved the way he laughed and rolled his eyes each time Eddie pushed him away, biting his lips and blushing like a teenager.

Richie was constantly in his mind, no matter what he was doing. He thought of Richie when he was at work, answering the phone and hanging around the coffee machine. He thought of Richie each time Myra kissed him, each time she asked him what he was thinking about.

Truth was, he was happier when he was with Richie. Richie made him laugh, he made him laugh so hard his stomach would hurt.

He never asked Richie about the _other_ job and Richie never talked about it. If Eddie didn’t know, he would have never imagined.

That evening, after a particular heated argument with Myra, Eddie slammed the door of the bathroom and hid in there, breathing heavily, hands shaking in anger.

_You’re useless, Eddie, useless!_ She had screamed at the top of her lungs, making Eddie wince.

It was always like that with Myra. Nothing ever pleased her, nothing ever made her content enough. Nothing Eddie did, anyway.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and scrolled though his contacts, pressing his thumb so hard on Richie’s name that the screen’s pixels combined together in a big, blue-ish stain for a second.

“Eddie?” Richie picked up after a couple of seconds, making Eddie sigh in relief and hold onto the phone tighter.

“Rich…” He breathed, squeezing his eyes shut.

“What’s wrong?” Richie immediately asked. Eddie bit his lower lip and smiled, hearing the concern on Richie’s voice.

“Nothing, nothing, I just… I just needed to hear your voice, I guess.” He murmured, feeling his heart hammer in his chest.

There was a pause. Eddie cradled the phone against his hear and sighed. “Rich-“

“Was it Myra?” Richie asked, and Eddie winced at the name.

“Yeah.” He admitted, sitting on the edge of the tub. He could hear music playing in the background and a small frown curved his forehead. “Are you still at the studio?”

“No, Eds.” Richie said, and Eddie blinked his eyes in realization. “I have to be on stage in five minutes.”

Eddie’s breathing picked up and tears welled in his eyes against his will. “Are you going to fuck someone tonight?”

“What?”

Eddie squeezed his phone in anger. “You heard me.”

“I don’t know, Eddie. Maybe. Why do you care anyway?” Richie asked, and Eddie could hear that he was upset.

“I don’t. I don’t care.” He hissed, shaking his head almost as if Richie could have seen him.

“Good.”

Eddie pulled his own there and chocked back an angry sob. “I fucking hate you.”

“Why? Because I do my job and you get jealous? You’re fucking engaged, Eddie. You’ve been pretty clear about that.”

“I’m not jealous.” Eddie shook his head again, even though his skin crawled at the thought of Richie kissing and touching someone else and his heart ached as he pictured the image in his head.

“I have to go now.” Richie said, and a tear rolled down Eddie’s cheek.

“No, Richie, wait.” He bit his lower lip, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

“What?” Richie’s voice was softer and Eddie’s heart melted like a chocolate left under the August sun.

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t fuck anyone tonight.” Eddie said. Maybe pleaded.

“Why?”

“Just don’t…”

Richie was silent for a second, then he breathed shakily in the speaker. “I have to go.”

“Ric-“ The connection fell before Eddie could say whatever he was about to say. He closed his eyes and slid back in the curve of the bathtub. His calves hung from the edge and he was cradling his phone in his hands, staying still.

“Get out of the bathroom! I need it!” Myra was banging her hand against the door and Eddie stared at it with an expression of pure and utter hate painted all over his face. “Edward! Get out! Now!”

_Fine_.

He stood up and yanked he door open, walked past her and hurried to the stairs.

“Where are you going?!” She cried, following him, voice laced with panic.

“Out.” Eddie simply said, grabbing his jacket and his keys.

“Where are you going? Tell me! Where!?” She screeched, but Eddie was already out of the door. “Eddie! I’m gonna call your mother!”

He didn’t even bother to answer, he just kept walking with his hands shoved in his pockets.

Eddie wasn’t a fan of the subway, but he only had 50 dollars in his wallet and needed all of them. Once he reached his stop, he run out and, before he could even process what he was actually doing, he was walking through the door of “Boys, boys, boys!”.  He slammed the money on the counter, gaining a puzzled look by the girl behind the counter, and then walked inside.

He spotted Richie after less than five seconds. He was flirting with a man, grinning and looking at his lips and Eddie’s stomach turned and knotted.

Richie was shirtless and he was wearing tight, mouthwatering leather pants. Even from that distance, Eddie saw the glitters scattered on his chest and his cheekbones.

Richie was glowing. He was as beautiful as a god and Eddie felt like crying or slapping him, he wasn’t sure.

His feet moved before his brain when he saw the man reaching up to touch Richie, because no, he couldn’t touch him. Eddie didn’t want that man to get his filthy hands on the most precious thing in the world.

He stepped between the two of them without sparing the stranger with a second glance, but keeping his gaze fixed on Richie.

“Hey! Man, what the fuck!?” The client complained, but Eddie ignored him.

He stood up on his tiptoes and cupped each side of Richie’s face, parting his lips before he pressed them against his.

He looked at Richie through his lashes and saw him closing his eyes and melt under his touch, which made Eddie’s heart flutter and his tense shoulders relax.

And Richie’s lips, oh, Richie’s lips were just as soft as he remembered them. He tasted like peppermint gum and his skin smelled like the perfume that was sprayed in the room and Eddie wanted nothing more than just sink into him.

Richie kissed him back and put his hands on Eddie’s waist, pulling him flush against his body and making him whimper against his lips.

“Eds…” He breathed. Eddie buried a hand between those gorgeous curls.

“I want you so much, Richie, it’s insane…” Eddie held onto him, but Richie pulled away and took his hand without a word. He tugged him behind as he walked through a red curtain, along hallway where the music was muffled by the walls. He stopped in front of a back door and pushed him open, using Eddie’s back to close it by pressing him against it.

“Where are we?” Eddie managed to ask between the kisses.

“My changing room.” Richie smiled against his lips, cupping Eddie’s cheeks. His lips were swollen and glistening because of Eddie. Eddie did that to him. “Are you going to run away again?”

Eddie shook his head, looking up at him right in the eyes.

He grabbed Richie by the waistband of his ridiculously tight pants and spun them around, pushing the taller man against the door and making him gasp as his naked back collapsed against the cold surface. He sunk to his knees leaving a long trail of wet kissed behind, holding onto Richie’s hips as e kissed just right under his navel.

“Fucking hell, Eds, what the fuck are you doing?” Richie panted, looking down at him with wide eyes.

Eddie bit his lower lip, mostly out of his teasing nature than a nervous tic and then licked the outline of Richie’s hard length over the fabric of his pants.

“Oh fuck.” Richie’s head slumped back against the door, but Eddie was quick to give him a gentle bite that made him groan.

“Look at me.” He ordered, not really sure of where all that boldness was coming from. He felt like an explorer in a new country: completely unprepared, but buzzing with excitement.

Every single one of his acknowledges about sex came from porn videos he had watched out of curiosity and wet dreams he had tried to forget in the morning, and yet he didn’t feel scared as he unzipped Richie’s pants.

“No underwear? Seriously?” He asked, vaguely amused and definitely turned on, licking his lips.

He so desperately wanted to keep repeating himself that he wasn’t gay, that this was just another distraction, but when he tugged Richie’ pants down and Richie’s cock sprang free, long and glorious, and Eddie’s mouth _watered_.

“Oh my god.” He breathed, staring at it with wide eyes, almost in awe.

“Like what you see?” Richie asked, a bit cheekily, but his cheeks were flushed and his breathing a little ragged.

Instead of replying, Eddie took hold of Richie’s hips and licked it from the base to the tip in a long, slow motion that had Richie groaning and take hold of a fistful of Eddie’s hair. “Oh fuck, baby.”

Eddie grew even more bold when Richie used the pet name. He gripped the base of his cock and engulfed the tip in his mouth, sucking and wetting it with his tongue.

Richie tasted just like the way he smelled: good.

Eddie found out he really fucking loved having the weight of Richie’s cock in his mouth, on his tongue. He loved having his hair pulled and his mouth fucked as Richie pushed his hips forward.

“Sorry, I got… fuck. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” Richie breathed.

Eddie pulled away, licking his lips and ignoring the thin filament of spit that connected Eddie’s lips and the swollen tip of Richie’s cock. “Teach me how you like it.” He pleaded, looking up at him.

Richie guided Eddie’s head by cupping the back of his neck and Eddie took him back in his mouth, sucking and moaning around him, stroking with his hand what he couldn’t reach with his lips. Richie was moaning and cursing under his breath and Eddie pressed his free hand against the front of his pants, feeling himself achingly hard under the fabric of his clothes.

“Eds, baby, stop, stop.” Richie breathed. Eddie pulled away, panting and looking up with flushed cheeks and glistening lips.

“What? No good?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Richie laughed, incredulous. “You’re a pro at sucking dick.” Eddie raised his eyebrow and gave Richie a weird look that made him laugh again. “Just stand up.”

Richie helped him to his feet and Eddie wiggled a little, gripping Richie’s forearms. “What is it?”   
“I want you to feel good as well.” Richie smirked, and Eddie shivered.

Richie started undressing him slowly, worshipping with his lips each and every single inch of skin of Eddie’s newly exposed skin. When his thighs hit the table that was in the room, Richie knocked off of it anything that there was on top. He lifted Eddie up and sat him there, stepping between his legs and holding his cheeks as he kissed him deep. Eddie moaned into Richie’s mouth, giddy on the feeling of being finally naked against Richie’s body, bare and hot skin against bare and hot skin. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist and opened his mouth for him, letting their tongues slid against each other and their hands roam on each other’s bodies.

Suddenly, Eddie was being pushed back and his back hit the table. Richie grabbed Eddie’s legs and pulled him towards the edge of the table and kneeling down, spreading Eddie’s knees apart.

Eddie didn’t even know his legs could be spread that wide.

“What do you want, Eddie?” Richie asked, brushing his lips over the soft skin of Eddie’s inner thighs.

“You.” Eddie replied, watching as his own chest rose and fell quickly.

“What made you change your mind?” Richie’s warm breath was so close to Eddie’s cock that he had to held onto the table’s sided to calm himself down.

“I didn’t change my mind. I’ve wanted you since I saw you for the first time.” He replied, arching his back when the flat of Richie’s tongue pressed against the sensitive skin of his balls. “Oh fuck!”

Richie chuckled, huskily, looking up at him. “Oh baby, I can’t wait to show you what it feels like to _really_ feel good.”

Before Eddie could process everything that was going on, he had a finger so far up his ass and at least ten different hickeys on his thighs. The room smelled like chemical strawberry and the lube Richie was using was cold.

“Rich-“

“Relax, baby.”

“I love it.”

“I know.”

A finger soon became two, and two fingers had Eddie squirming and moaning and thrust his hips back, because Richie was touching him in all the right spots, making his legs quaking and his arms slump against the table, wrists hanging from the edge.

“Richie, _Richie_.” Eddie whined, arching his back again and reaching with his hand to grab a fistful of Richie’s curls.

Seeing Richie’s head between his legs was probably the most erotic sight he had ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched with dark eyes as Richie thrust his hand forward, leaving Eddie gasping for hair.

Richie’s lips and tongue were ghosting over Eddie’s erection and he was positive he was about to go insane.

“More, Rich, baby, please.” He begged, squirming and moaning loud when Richie’s third finger slipped inside him.

Eddie’s eyes watered, because he felt _good_. He felt like he was born to be stretched open by another’s man fingers, born to have another man between his thighs,  born to have another man’s tongue in his mouth, on his cock, maybe even in his ass. Eddie felt like he was born to lay there, legs spread open and hips tilted up.

“Fuck me.” He managed to say between gasps, running the hand that was holding Richie’s hair between his own, moving the strands that were sticking to his sweaty forehead back. “Jesus, Rich, I need you to fuck me right now.”

Richie’s wicked grin had him shivering. Eddie watched as he stood up, slowly, running his warm and lube-slicked hand up Eddie’s thigh.

“A little desperate, aren’t we?” Richie teased. He walked to his wardrobe and grabbed a condom from a box, returning to Eddie and holding it up between two fingers. “Safety first.”

Eddie rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips. “Are you going to give me the ‘sit back, relax and enjoy your flight’ speech as well?” He huffed playfully, then gasped when Richie grabbed his thighs and yanking him back towards him.

“Shut the fuck up.” Richie chuckled, squeezing Eddie’s thighs and then rolling the condom on himself.

“What’s this smell?” Eddie asked, licking his lower lip.

“Green apple. It’s a flavored condom.” Richie explained, pouring some more lube and gave his cock a couple of long, slow strokes. “I don’t let the clients blow me without wearing one first and vice versa.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose and pouted a little, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck. “I don’t want you to talk about that when you’re about to pop my cherry.”

“Pop your cherry?” Richie laughed, throwing his head back.

Eddie smiled, because Richie was beautiful.

“You know, take my flower.”

“Holy shit, baby.” Richie laughed again, bright and gorgeous, cupping Eddie’s cheeks and kissing him with such affection that Eddie’s heart swelled in his chest. “I fucking adore you.” Richie breathed, resting his forehead against Eddie’s and making him smile wide.

“Yeah?” Eddie rested his hands against Richie’s chest, brushing their lips together. Richie hummed and smiled running his long fingers through Eddie’s messy hair.

“Lay back for me, bug?” Richie said, and Eddie frowned and giggled at the nickname.

“Bug?”

“Just fucking do it.” Richie rolled his eyes with a smile and Eddie complied.

The head of Richie’s cock rubbed between Eddie’s ass cheeks, making Eddie whimper and hold his breath.

“C’mon, Rich.  I’m ready.” Eddie breathed.

“Are you still sure about this?” Richie asked, just to make extra sure.

“Yes. I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my entire life.”

That was all Richie needed. He sunk into Eddie slowly, inch by inch, making the shorter man’s mouth fall open and his eyes roll in the back of his head.

He felt full. He felt like he was being torn apart and he _loved_ it. The pain was good, the stretch was good, the burn was good and Richie was _long_ and he was making Eddie _feel_.

When Richie bottomed out he held still, hands firmly curved around Eddie’s hips and heavy puffs of breath leaving his lungs. Eddie opened his eyes and looked up at him in awe, watching as a droplet of sweat rolled between Richie’s pectorals and the glitter still sticking to his skin reflected the light.

Eddie had never been a religious man, but he could have sworn that he had never felt so close to heaven before.

When Richie pulled back and thrust back in, slowly, Eddie cried out, bending his knees and steadying his feet on the edge of the table. Richie was careful and gentle at first, letting Eddie get used to the feeling and trying not to hurt him too much, but soon they were both gasping for air, chasing their pleasure and Richie was pounding him hard and fast.

Eddie was seeing stars, and they looked just like Richie’s eyes.

“Eds, baby.” Richie moaned, biting his lower lip and thrusting forward once again. “Oh shit, you are so fucking tight.”

Eddie sat up. He kept his back bent backwards just at the right angle and wrapped his arms around Richie to steady himself as he spread his legs wider. “You feel so good, oh my god.” He panted, grabbing a fistful of Richie’s curls on the back of his neck. “Oh, oh, Ri-chee.”

Richie leaned towards him and pressed their mouths together, kissing Eddie just as desperately as Eddie was feeling, holding him for dear life. “Do you feel how good we fit together, baby? Can you feel it?”

“Yes, yes, Yes!” Eddie nodded his head, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

Eddie felt loved.

Eddie felt love. So much love. All the love in the world.

Being touched like that, being kissed like that, being held like that… Everything was so new and so magnificent that Eddie couldn’t stop the tears spilling from his eyes from falling. “Richie, Richie, Richie.” He kept repeating it like a litany, like a mantra. Like a prayer.

Richie kissed his tears. He kissed them away. Then he kissed his wet lashes, his forehead, his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his lips. His hips changed angle and touched something inside Eddie that made him cry out in pleasure and wrap a hand around his painfully hard erection. “You’re beautiful. You’re gorgeous, you’re fucking unbelievable.” Richie praised him, sending sparks all over Eddie’s body.

“Richie-“

“I know baby. Let go.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and kissed Richie again. And again.

He came with tears in his eyes, Richie’s arms around his waist and his heart in Richie’s hands.

He slumped back against the table and looked through his lashes at Richie, at the way his hips stuttered, his cheeks flushed and his mouth fell open as he came.

Richie was beautiful, and Eddie’s heart had never felt bigger and warmer.

 

* * *

 

 

Eddie Kaspbrak was gay.

Eddie Kaspbrak was gay and life had never been so beautiful.

It didn’t stop with their encounter in Richie’s changing room. That was only the beginning. Each and every excuse was good for Eddie to leave the house and run to Richie’s flat. Their dance classes, instead of being an hour long, suddenly extended to two hours because “Eddie needed much more practice”. When they weren’t together, they were texting. When they weren’t texting, they were together.

Eddie had a constant smile on his lips. Even Myra noticed that. She was convinced that Eddie’s happiness depended on their wedding, but little did she know Eddie’s life had been completely turned upside down.

He had lost count of how many times they had fucked, and Eddie loved it. He adored how hungry they always were for each other, how he couldn’t keep their hands for themselves when they were together.

Eddie was falling in love.

“I brought you a smoothie!” Myra chirped, storming into the dance studio.

Richie and Eddie yanked apart, breathing heavily, hair messy and lips glistening with spit. Eddie’s eyes were wide with panic, but she didn’t look like she had noticed anything.

“M-Myra, honey, hi!” Eddie ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat. “A smoothie?”

“Yes. Spinach, broccoli and cucumber.” She handed it to him and Eddie threw up a little in his mouth. “Your mom says you need to eat more greens.” She said, looking between the two of them.

Richie had turned to the stereo, stopping the music and hiding his boner, chuckling under his ragged breath.

“How’s practice?” Myra asked, and Eddie nodded his head.

“Good, really good.” He was still trying to catch his breath. “In fact, we should really get back to work now.”

“Sure, sure! I bet you still have a lot to do.” She laughed, gesturing with her hand. “You clumsy little one. I’ll see you at home.” She kissed his cheek and left, ignoring Richie completely.

Once she had left, Eddie threw the smoothie in the trashcan next to the door and wrinkled his nose.

Then, big warm hands were on his hips and he was being spun around. He giggled and wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck, feeling much like a lovesick idiot. They resumed their kiss just as passionately, wrapping their arms around each other and tangling their hands in their hair.

“Baby…” Eddie murmured, kissing down Richie’s jaw. “She nearly caught us.”

“I know. Wasn’t it exciting?” Richie teased, palming Eddie’s ass and giving it a squeeze.

Eddie cupped Richie’s cheeks and kissed him again, slow and deep.

“Come to my apartment tonight.” Richie whispered against his lips.

“I can’t, Rich. Myra is starting to get suspicious.” Eddie said, holding onto the front of Richie’s shirt. He knew he wasn’t being fair to neither of them, but he couldn’t stop. He was stuck in a little, happy world where he got  to be two different people at the same time, but truth was, he didn’t know how to deal with two different lives. He didn’t know how to be Myra’s husband when he wanted so desperately to be with Richie, but he didn’t know how to be Richie’s boyfriend when he had a wedding planned in less than a month.

“Eds…”

“Tomorrow.” Eddie immediately promised. “I’ll come to yours tomorrow. I promise.” He said, stroking his thumb over Richie’s sharp cheekbone.

“Fine, okay.” Richie nodded his head and cupped Eddie’s cheeks as well, smiling. “Tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Faster, Richie, oh god!” Eddie moaned, digging his fingers on the sheets and arching his back. He was on his hands and knees, facing the mirror in Richie’s bedroom and staring at the insanely hot sight of Richie fucking him from behind.

Richie was kneeling behind him, thrusting at a brutal pace, holding his hips so hard he was probably leaving bruises. Eddie looked at himself, at his flushed cheeks, him sweaty forehead, his messy  hair and the red, swollen lips.

It was like watching a porn video with himself starring in it.

Richie slammed against his prostate and Eddie cried out in pleasure. “Oh yes, right there baby, don’t stop!” He saw Richie staring at him in the mirror, eyes dark and lips parted. Eddie wanted to kiss him senseless.

He could feel each inch of Richie’s length inside him and he felt so full, so complete that he wanted to cry.

“You’re so fucking perfect, Eds, fuck. Look at you, look at us.” Richie panted, making Eddie shiver and sob in pleasure.

“I’m gonna come, Rich. You’re- oh god, please keep going!” Eddie pushed his hips back, eagerly.

Richie’s hips started to stutter and his thrusts became erratic. Eddie knew he was close as well, he could see his pleasure written all over his face. He reached down between his legs and gripped his neglected cock, stroking himself fast and moaning high and desperate.

“Look at me, Eddie. Look at me!” Eddie looked up at Richie’s reflection, breathing heavily and groaning at the sight of Richie’s dark eyes. “Come for me, babe.” Richie egged him, hitting Eddie’s prostate with every single well aimed thrust.

Eddie came with Richie’s name on his lips, spilling on the sheets and feeling his knees going weak and jelly-like. Richie followed him less than a minute later, burying himself deep inside Eddie and keeping still for a couple of seconds as he finished.

“Fuck…” He breathed. His grip on Eddie’s hips became more gentle and he slowly pulled out, rolled the condom off of himself and threw it in the general direction of the trash can.

Eddie slumped down on the mattress, breathing fast and ignoring the sticky sensation between the sheets and his stomach. He smiled when Richie bent down and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades, then sighed when Richie laid down next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“You good?” He asked, brushing his lips over Eddie’s button nose.

“More than good.” The lazy smile on Eddie’s lips matched Richie’s. He reached up and stroked Eddie’s cheekbone with his thumb, softly and gently. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“We could.” Richie took Eddie’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

Eddie sighed and closed his eyes, pressing closer against Richie’s side. “It’s not that easy, Rich, you know that.” He said, running his fingers through his lover’s curls. Richie looked like something in between hurt and disappointed.

“I have to go to work.” He said, after a few moments of silence. He stood up and Eddie watched as he picked his underwear up from the ground and put it back on.

“Rich…” Eddie sat up, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I get it, Eds.” Richie said simply. He slid into a pair of jeans.

Eddie knew what Richie wanted. He wanted the same thing. He just wasn’t sure they could have it. It hurt, thinking about it, that everything could have ended and that the rest of his life was going to be spent by someone else’s side, but Eddie wasn’t naïve enough to dream that he could have had his happy ending.

“No, Rich, you don’t get it.” He put his briefs back on and stood up, following Richie in the living room of his small, messy flat. “I don’t have a choice.”

Richie snorted and shook his head without looking at him. “You do, Eddie. We always have a choice.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist from behind, pressing a kiss on his back and then resting his cheek there. “You have to give me some time, Richie. This is all new for me.”

“I’m giving you time. I’m not asking you anything.” Richie replied, quietly. He relaxed between Eddie’s arms and sighed. “It’s your life. Do what you want with it.”

Eddie closed his eyes and kissed Richie’s back again, holding him tight before he let go. “I will figure this out. I promise.”

Richie turned and looked at him. He looked sad, and Eddie hated it. “I have to go now.”

Eddie’s stomach clenched. Among all things, he had never thought about jealousy. Not until he had met Richie. The fact that part of Richie’s work was grinding against other men, let them touch him, let them hold him and maybe even fuck  was a hard pill to swallow. Especially when he knew he didn’t have a say in the matter.

“Okay. Fine.”

“Don’t be like that.” Richie sighed, picking up a shirt from the backrest of a chair. “It’s just a job.”

“Yeah? Except that I don’t fuck other people when I go to work.” The words spilled out of Eddie’s mouth and he instantly regretted every single one of them. He had basically just called Richie a hooker and the look of hurt on his face was enough to make him want to slap himself. “I didn’t-“

“Close the door behind you when you leave.” Richie said, turning his back and taking the keys and the wallet from the table.

“Richie, baby, please, I didn’t mean-“ He tried to follow him, to explain, but the door slammed shut in a fraction of second and he was alone. “Fuck…” He took his face between his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

He was being unfair, he knew that.

But he didn’t know how to stop.

“How was your dinner meeting?” Myra asked, climbing in bed. She had just showered, which meant she smelled like lavender and, if there was a smell Eddie hated with all of his heart, it was lavender.

“It was fine.” Eddie replied, lying down and turning his back to her.

“Did you eat the desert? You know that you must keep an average of 2300 calories per day, right? I don’t want a fat husband.” She joked, poking his side, but Eddie knew better. He knew she wasn’t joking at all.

“I had a lemon sorbet.” Eddie lied, closing his eyes.

“Good.” Myra turned the light off. “Only three more weeks, darling. Can you believe it?” Eddie’s stomach clenched and twisted. “Everyone is going to be there, I’m so excited, Eddie bear.”

“Yeah, me too.” Eddie deadpanned. He took his phone from the night stand and quickly typed a message.

**11.40pm, To Richie** : _I’m sorry for what I’ve said. I really am. I miss you. I can’t breathe when you’re not next to me._

“Who are you texting?” Myra asked.

Eddie turned his phone off and plugged the charger in. “No one.”

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t see Richie until three days later, during their dance practice.

They had been the longest three days of Eddie’s life. Richie hadn’t answered to any of his texts and Eddie couldn’t skip dinner with Myra again to go to the strip club, otherwise she would have gotten suspicious. He wanted nothing more than just know that he was okay. That they were okay.

Whatever they were.

“Oh god, what happened to you?” Eddie dropped the bag and ran to Richie, reaching up to touch his face, but Richie winced.

“It’s nothing, I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay, you’re bruised.” Eddie felt panic spread in his chest. Richie’s cheekbone was livid and there was a cut on his lower lip. “What happened?” He asked again, pleading Richie with his eyes.

“I refused to blow a client.” He said quietly, brushing his fingers over his own lip, grimacing at the shot of pain.

Eddie felt his organs crumble inside of his body at the sight of the most important thing in his life hurt like that.

“Baby…”

“I’m not a prostitute, Eddie.” Richie’s voice was cracking a little and his eyes were glassy. “I know you think that I am, but I’m not. I get to choose whether I want to sleep with someone or not.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry.” Eddie cupped Richie’s cheeks, gently, and pressed a kiss to the sane corner of his mouth. “I’m sorry I was an idiot. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say any of that.”

Richie didn’t move for a while, then, slowly, he pulled Eddie in for a hug. “I just couldn’t do it, Eddie. I started thinking about you and-“

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Eddie assured him, soothing his back and tilting his head up to kiss his jaw. “Have you told anyone about this?”

“My boss caught him while he was beating me. He threatened him of calling the police, made him pay and then banned him from the club.” Richie explained, shrugging.

“That motherfucker needs to rot in hell.” Eddie hissed. “Look what he’s done to you…” He could have cried. He cupped Richie’s cheeks and made sure he wasn’t hurting him as he pressed light kisses all over his face.

“I’m fine, bug. It’s not the first time this happens, and it’s just a bruise.” Richie reassured him, but, for some reason, he didn’t feel reassured at all. The idea of seeing Richie like that again was unbearable. “Don’t worry about me.” Richie held the back of Eddie’s neck and their noses bumped together, softly.

“I always worry about you.” Eddie sighed, stroking Richie’s sane cheekbone.

He wanted to ask more. He wanted to ask him how he ended up working in a place like that, how he could have agreed to all of that, but he didn’t want to step on any of Richie’s boundaries, especially while he was hurt. Instead, he walked to the shelf with the first aid kit on top of it and started disinfecting the bruise and the cut on his lip, using gentle touches and brushes of his fingers against Richie’s skin.

He was straddling Richie’s lap, focusing on his bruises and well aware that Richie’s eyes were fixed on him.

“No one has ever taken care of me like this, you know?” Richie spoke quietly and Eddie’s heart clenched in his chest.

“What about your parents?” Eddie asked carefully, brushing the cotton on Richie’s cheekbone.

“My mom died when I was very little, I don’t remember her that much. I’ve been told that she was a great woman, though. My dad couldn’t take care of me because he worked a lot, so I grew up with my uncles. They had three kids, so I wasn’t the first thought in their minds.” Richie explained. “I moved out when I was 18.”

Eddie’s heart was sinking in his chest at the thought of a younger Richie, desperate for some kind of attention. “I bet we would have been great friends as kids.” He said, smiling at him and setting his hands on Richie’s shoulders.

“Yeah? I would have definitely had a crush on you.” Richie smiled,  holding Eddie’s hips in his hands.

Eddie blushed and chuckled. “Shut up, that’s not true.”

“It is. My teachers used to say that I was too much of a social butterfly, which meant that I was the weird kid that talked a lot and always tried to kiss everyone. If I had you around, I would have tried to kiss you all the time.”

Eddie could easily imagine a smaller version of Richie, all hair and teeth, running around the playground in overalls. The thought made him smile fondly.   
  
“You can kiss me now.” Eddie chuckled, biting his lower lip and leaning closer to brush his lips against Richie’s. “I bet I would have had a crush on you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

“This is such a bad idea.” Eddie opened the door and let Richie inside. Myra was out for the night, having dinner with her mother.

He didn’t even know how it crossed his mind to take Richie back to his apartment, and yet there they were, walking inside and feeling like burglars. Eddie honestly hoped with every single fiber of his being that Myra wasn’t going to be back before she said she was going to be, otherwise things were going to be  a lot less pretty than they currently were.

“You have a nice place.” Richie said, taking his jacket off and taking a look around the living room. “It’s really clean.”

“Yeah. I don’t like germs and Myra likes cleaning. We’re a match made in heaven.” He deadpanned.

Richie snorted and Eddie smiled, turning to look at him.

“If she comes back and finds you here-“

“We’re just going to tell her that we came because the studio was booked. Easy peasy lemon squeazy.” Richie caught Eddie’s chin between his fingers and pecked his lips. “And I still think we should talk.”

“About?”

Richie gave him a knowing look, raising his eyebrows, and Eddie sighed, shrugging his jacket off of his shoulders. “I don’t want to talk, okay? Not right now.  Not about that.”

“That’s what you always say, but the wedding’s in nine days and-“

Eddie grabbed Richie’s face between his hands and kissed him square on the mouth, cutting off whatever Richie was going to say next. Richie hums in the kiss, giving in completely and wrapping his long arms around Eddie’s waist. They stumbled back towards the couch and fell on top of it. Richie was sitting on it and Eddie was straddling his lover’s hips, fingers buried in his wild and soft curls.

“Do you ever brush it?” Eddie asked against his lips when his fingers got tangled in a knot.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Richie quickly replied, kissing down his neck.

Eddie tilted his head back and gave Richie’s lips more room, gasping when his teeth gazed on his skin.

He didn’t want to think about the future. He didn’t want to come to the realization that, in less than two weeks, he was going to be married. To a woman. A woman that was basically the younger version of his overbearing mother. He just wanted to close his eyes and let the moment swallow him. He wanted to pretend that he could have lived a happy life with Richie, being between his arms. He wanted to be in the position to ask Richie to stop working at the club, telling him that he could have done so much more with his life, with his talent. He wanted to believe that in another time, another place, and maybe another world, they could have been together.

But the truth was that he had proposed, Myra had said yes, and they were going to be married in nine days, six hours, fourteen minutes and twenty three seconds. Twenty two. Twenty one.

“Eddie, we should talk. Like, for real this time.” Richie said, pulling away from his lips.

“Can you just- Please? Just let me have this moment. I need this. I need _you_.”

“And what happens when the moment ends?” Richie looked up at him and Eddie’s stomach twisted.

“We can figure it out together.” Eddie pressed their mouths together and started unbuttoning Richie’s shirt as fast as he could, roaming his hands all over his chest and abdomen, kissing down his jaw. “I want to ride you.” He whispered in his ear, making Richie shiver.

“We could be together.” Richie breathed in his ear, pulling Eddie’s shirt up and off. He kissed his neck and Eddie closed his eyes, burying his finger between Richie’s hair.

_No, we couldn’t._

He stood up and grabbed the lube from his underwear drawer, where he was hiding it. He walked back into the living room and stripped in front of Richie, watching as he palmed himself through his jeans while looking at Eddie.

“Take them off.” Eddie told him and Richie quickly complied, tugging his jeans and underwear down in one go.

Eddie, by that point, had should have got used to the way his mouth always watered at the sight of Richie’s cock, and yet, each time he laid his eyes on it, all he wanted to do was to get his mouth on it and suck until it’s head hit the back of his throat.

“I want you so much, Richie.” He breathed. He climbed back on Richie’s lap, wrapping himself around him and kissing him, filthy and deep.

He heard the lube’s cap being popped open, and nothing else until he felt Richie’s slick fingers on his hole, sliding in and stretching him open. Eddie didn’t need much preparation, though. They had been fucking at least five times a week for the past five weeks, so Richie was soon pulling his fingers out, looking up at Eddie with dark, lust filled eyes.

“Condom?”

Eddie shook his head, sliding his tongue over Richie’s bottom lip. “Fuck me raw.” Richie groaned at Eddie’s mere words, gripping tight onto his hips. “Please, baby, I want to feel you. All of you.”

Richie nodded and slicked himself up with more lube. Eddie wasn’t worried, they had both got tested and Richie had always been careful at work. Eddie trusted him with his life.

He sunk down on Richie’s cock, feeling every single inch of it sliding inside of him and rolling his eyes in the back of his head when he finally bottomed out, feeling so incredibly full and satisfied.

“Of fuck.” Richie moaned, slumping back against the backrest of the couch. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

Eddie rocked his hips, getting quickly used to that beautiful stretch, and started bouncing on Richie’s cock, gripping onto his shoulders and riding him like his life depended on it. Richie was looking at him with wide eyes, sliding his hands from his hips to his ass and spreading his cheeks apart, squeezing the tender flesh and making Eddie moan high and desperate.

“Right there baby, don’t fucking stop, don’t stop, oh my fucking god.” Richie’s voice was breathy and husky, his eyes dark and his cheeks flushed.

“Richie, oh- fuck! You’re so fucking big baby, fill me up so good.” Eddie crashed their lips together and they moaned into each other’s mouths.

Eddie felt high on adrenaline. It wasn’t just pleasure, it was also the idea that Myra could have been back in any minute and found them like that: naked on the living room’s couch, fucking like animals. Eddie was bouncing on Richie’s cock almost as if his life depended on it, moaning loud and gripping onto his shoulders.

“If you keep going like this I won’t last long.” Richie warned him, but Eddie didn’t care. He wanted everything, he wanted all of it.

“Come inside me, baby, please. I want to fucking feel you.” Eddie pleaded, moving even faster and causing Richie to throw his head back and moan just as loudly as Eddie was doing.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come baby. You- oh god, I’m fucking coming!” Eddie sunk down on him and felt Richie’s dick throb inside him. Richie grabbed Eddie’s achingly hard erection and gave it a few messy, quick strokes and soon Eddie was coming as well all over Richie’s chest, causing the man to moan and slump back against the couch.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” Richie breathed, sweaty and sticky.

Eddie loved him so _much_.

He felt Richie’s cock softening inside him. The sensation was funny, but not unpleasant. He felt safe, complete. Richie’s.

“We better clean up.” He laughed quietly against Richie’s neck. He sat up and Richie’s dick slid out of him, making him whimper at the loss. They both took a quick shower together, holding each other and giggling against each other’s lips like teenagers.

It felt good.

“Can you pass me my jeans?” Richie asked with a smirk on his lips.

They were back in the living room, putting their clothes back on, when the front door suddenly opened and everything in the room froze. Richie was buttoning his pants, Eddie was buttoning his shirt and Myra was staring at them with wide eyes.

Eddie’s heart started pumping his way out of his chest and he thought he was just  a breath away from passing out.

“What the hell is going on here?” Myra asked, looking positively shocked.

Eddie couldn’t even formulate an answer. His brain was probably melted and leaking out of his ears like a popsicle.

“Oh my goodness, Myra, have you been to the hairdresser? You look great.” Richie grinned. “I was just about to leave, actually. The studio was booked for today, so we decided to move our practice here.” Richie smiled warmly and Eddie wondered if he had ever taken acting. If not, he really should have had.

“Why are you half naked?” She asked, still suspicious.

“You won’t let me turn the heat down. Have you any idea of how hot it gets in here? Especially if you’re doing a physical activity?” Eddie provided, buttoning the rest of his shirt up and then moving closer to Myra, kissing her lips. “Hi, dear. How did your dinner go?”

She eyed him for a moment, then she shrugged. “Fine.  We need to discuss a few more things before the big day.” She looked at Richie. “In private.”

Richie nodded and grabbed his shirt, putting it on and walking to the door. “I’ll see you on Tuesday, Eddie.”

“Actually,” Myra said, looking at Richie with a vaguely disgusted look on her face. “Eddie is done with the dance lessons. I’m sure he’s learned enough by this point.”

Richie blinked and looked at Eddie, then nodded. “Okay, sure. Well,” He opened the door and Eddie’s heart ached. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you. I’m sure you’ll have such a great time at your wedding.”

Eddie wanted to throw up.

“I’m sure we will.” Myra deadpanned, with a fake smile on her lips.

Richie nodded his head and closed the door behind his back without looking at Eddie again.

Eddie swallowed and looked at Myra, who was looking back at him with a blank expression on her face. “Whatever the fuck is going on, it’s going to stop right fucking now.” Eddie’s blood froze in his veins. Myra had never cursed before, nor looked so positively angry. “You’re going to end it right now or I’m going to tell everyone that you’re a filthy faggot who likes to take it up the ass. Everyone. I’m going to tell your mother, your coworkers, your boss, your friends. Everyone.” She hissed.

Eddie was about to throw up.

“Am I made myself clear enough, Edward?”

He nodded his head fast, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Good. Now go take another shower. You’ve been stinking like a dirty faggot for weeks now.” She gritted out, giving Eddie a disgusted look before she walked to the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

 

Eddie didn’t like that look on Richie’s face.

Eddie loved seeing Richie smile, laugh and smirk.

He didn’t like seeing him hurt, especially when he was the reason why he was looking like that.

Richie had eyeliner on his eyes, glitter on his cheekbones and mascara on his lashes and he was beautiful.  He was wearing tight, black pants and a silk vest hanging open on his chest. He was just about to go on stage and Eddie felt guilty for that, because he was probably going to ruin his entire night.

“What do you mean?” He asked, looking like he had just been slapped right in the face.

“It’s over, Richie. Whatever this was- I can’t do this anymore. I’m getting married.” Eddie explained, shaking his head.

“You didn’t look like you cared when you decided to cheat on her to be with me!” He protested, running a nervous hand through his curls.

“I did a mistake, okay?” Eddie sighed, rubbing his face. “Look, I’m not saying that I don’t care about you, because I do. It’s just… This is wrong, Richie. I can’t be with you. I’m going to get married like I had planned.” He said, looking up at Richie and trying to hold his tears back.

“But you don’t love her. You don’t even like women!”

“I’ve never slept with one! Maybe I’ll like it, I don’t know! But this doesn’t change anything. I can’t see you anymore.”

Richie looked so lost and hopeless that Eddie wanted nothing more than to reach out for him and hold him.

“So what was I? Your hobby? You used me until it was worth it and then that’s it?” Richie’s voice was cracking.

Eddie’s heart was cracking.

“Richie-“

“You can’t fucking do that, Eddie. That’s not fair. You can’t use people and then throw them away just like that. You said you _liked_ me.” With the tone of voice Richie was using, Eddie wondered if anyone had ever told Richie how important and beautiful he was.

“I can’t be with you, Richie.” Eddie looked down at his feet, chewing on his lower lip. He was hating every single second. He just wanted to hide in the comfort of Richie’s arms and stay there forever.

But that wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

“I can’t call off the wedding for-“ He cut himself off, and that was it.

Richie’s shoulders dropped and his face was painted with sadness. “Me?” He murmured. “You can’t call off the wedding for me? Why? Because I am a man? Because I am a stripper? Because I’m not worth of you?”

_I love you so much, Richie, so so much._

“I just can’t.” Eddie whispered, avoiding Richie’s gaze. “I made a mistake.”

“You made me feel like I was worth something, and then you- you reminded me that I’m nothing.” Richie shook his head. Eddie refused to look up at him, because he didn’t want Richie to see him with tears in his eyes.

Richie brushed past him and left his changing room, leaving Eddie there, alone. He took his face between his hands and wiped his tears away, sniffling and feeling like a stupid idiot. A lovesick, hopeless stupid idiot.

If Eddie was braver, he would have followed Richie. He would have told him that he loved him, that he wanted to be with him and that, if it had depended on him, he would have never proposed to Myra in the first place.

But that would have been a lie.

It had been Eddie’s choice to listen to his mother. It had been his choice to buy the ring. It had been his choice to choose Myra and his craziness over the love of his life, and he needed to take responsibilities for his actions.

So maybe that was what he deserved:  a long, unhappy life spent with a wife by his side, spending the rest of his days thinking about what it could have been if he had been brave enough to listen to his heart instead to the scary voice in his brain.

If Eddie couldn’t have Richie, he wasn’t going to have anything at all.

 

* * *

 

 

“Eddie?” Bill knocked on the door and walked in the hotel room holding two glasses of champagne up. “Here, drink this.” He said with a smile.

Eddie had been struggling with his tie for the past hour, actually considering hanging himself with it a couple of times,  and eventually giving in. His hands were shaking, he had forgot how to knot a tie properly and the only thing he managed to do that morning had been crying in the shower like the main character of a bad B Movie.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the glass from Bill’s hands and downed the champagne in one go, chugging it like he had never been able to chug anything during the (very few amount of) parties he had been invited to back in college.

“Easy, t-tiger. Are you t-trying to get drunk?”

_Yes_.

Mike and Stan and Ben walked in the room after a couple of minutes. Stan was fixing the collar of his shirt, Mike had brought more champagne and Ben was checking his watch.

“You know you’re still in time to call everything off, you know?” Mike helped Eddie with the tie, knotting it for him and earning a grateful look from Eddie.

“Why would he want to call off the wedding? He’s about to marry the woman of his dreams.” Stan teased with a sarcastic smile, and Bill slapped his shoulder.

“Is Richie going to come?” Ben asked carefully, drinking a sip of champagne.

“Why would he come? He probably hates me now. And he has all the rights to.” Eddie sighed, shaking his head. “I’ve been such an asshole to him, guys.”

“It’s not your fault, Eddie.” Ben said, squeezing his shoulder.

_Yes it is._

“Gentlemen?” One of the planners Myra had hired was standing in the doorway with a notebook in his hands. They all turned their heads and looked at him. Eddie felt like he was about to throw his beating heart up. Alongside with the apple he had had for breakfast. “We’re ready.”

Myra was wearing a white dress, big and full of pearls. She looked a bit like a meringue. A very satisfied meringue.

The church was full of people taking pictures at the bride. Eddie’s mother was sitting in the front row, looking so pleased with herself that Eddie feared she might have started to clap in any moment. The huge amount of flowers was making his nose feel itchy and his shoes were uncomfortably tight.

That, or he just really wanted to run away.

Bill was by his side, while Stan, Mike and Ben sat in front of him.

Who the hell were all the other people in the church? He didn’t recall having so many friends and relatives. He didn’t recall Myra having any friends apart from those girls from her yoga class that were whispering as she walked by. Eddie had never liked them.

Myra stopped her walk through the aisle and the wedding march stopped as well. Myra was grinning, and Eddie saw that a bit of lipstick had smeared on her front teeth.

He didn’t bother to point it out.

The church fell silent and Eddie cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and bracing himself for whatever was about to come. His suit felt uncomfortably tight, his tie felt uncomfortably tight. He suddenly wished he still carried around his old inhaler, the one he used as a kid.

“We gather here to unite these two people in marriage. Their decision to marry has not been entered into lightly and today they publicly declare their private devotion to each other.” As the priest started to speak, he could hear his friends whisper. He turned his head just slightly, glaring at a very amused Stan who had just snorted. “The essence of this commitment is the acceptance of each other in entirety, as lover, companion, and friend.”

Eddie wouldn’t have accepted Myra as a roommate, let alone a lover, a companion or a friend.

The woman’s grasp on his hand was so tight and suffocating and possessive that Eddie felt like a dog at the leash.

“A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither person is overpowered nor absorbed by the other, one in which neither person is possessive of the other, one in which both give their love freely and without jealousy.” The priest said, and Eddie felt his skin cover in shivers. He tried to take his hand away from Myra’s grasp, but she only held it tighter.

Eddie wondered if she was listening to that pretty, default speech at all.

“Marriage, ideally, is a sharing of responsibilities, hopes, and dreams. It takes a special effort to grow together, survive hard times, and be loving and unselfish.”

What did they even had in common? Eddie couldn’t recall a single thing they liked doing together apart from cleaning the apartment, and Myra hated doing that together anyway.  They didn’t like the same kind of movies, they didn’t like the same music. Myra loved meat, Eddie had always preferred fish. Myra liked bright colors, Eddie preferred pastels.

The only thing they had in common was probably the fact that both of them hated germs and dirty things. Eddie was probably one of the dirty things, now.

“Do you pledge to share your love and the joys of your marriage with all those around you, so that they may learn from your love and be encouraged to grow in their own lives?” The priest asked, and Stan snorted again. This time, it was the priest the one that glared.

“We do.” Myra replied, smiling wide and fake.

“Edward?” The priest asked, looking at him with a blank expression, almost as he had been in the same situation a hundredth times before.

“Yeah, yes.” Eddie said, nodding his head.

Myra gave his hand a squeeze and Eddie actually considered the idea of chopping it off, just to get rid of that death grasp.

“Myra Grace Kendall, do you take Edward Kaspbrak for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you apart?”

The fact that Death was on Eddie’s side in this scenario, was oddly comforting.

“I do.” Myra immediately said, taking one of the rings and slipping it onto Eddie’s finger.

It felt like being handcuffed.

“Edward Kaspbrak, do you take Myra Grace Kendall for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you apart?”

Eddie swallowed hard and looked at their joined hands, at the ring on his finger, at the look on Myra’s face. His heart was beating so hard it was starting to hurt.

He turned his head and looked at his mother, so full of expectations and judging looks . He looked at the people sitting there, at the weird faces everyone was making and then at his friends, that were just sitting there, waiting for him to do what they thought he was about to do.

Eddie could almost see the look of excitement on Stan’s face.

“Young man?” The priest prompted him.

Eddie was done having people prompting and egging him to do what they  wanted him to do.

“No.” He eventually breathed out, without believing that he had just actually done it.

“You have to say ‘I do’.” The priest clarified, but Eddie finally tore his hands away from Myra’s grasp and took  a step back.

“And yet I’ve said no!” Eddie said, ignoring the voice filling up the church.

“Yes!” Stan clapped his hands together, grinning. “You owe me twenty bucks!” He held his hand out and Mike cursed under his breath, putting a twenty dollars bill in Stan’s hand.

“Did you guys seriously bet on my wedding!?” Eddie asked, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. He knew his friends all too well.

“What is going on!?” Myra screeched, hitting Eddie’s shoulder with her bouquet. She was red in the face and her eyes were wide and panicked.

“I can’t marry you, Myra.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry!? You’re breaking up with me at the altar?! During our wedding?” Her voice had turned at least seven octaves up and it was echoing between the tall walls of the church.

It hurt Eddie’s ears a little.

“It’s not like you didn’t see it coming!” Eddie protested, and Myra hit him again with the flowers.

“You know what’s going to happen now, right? I’m going to tell everyone that you’re-“

“A faggot?” Eddie cut her off, almost laughing. He turned to face the crowd and opened his arms. “Yes! I am! I like men. Actually, I fucking love them. I love how they look, how they taste and how they feel when they fuck me from behind!”

The priest gasped and made the sign of the cross. Sonia stood up, eyes wide and furious. Myra stared at him in shock.

“Those were a lot of unnecessary details, man.” Stan deadpanned, putting his newly earned money in his wallet.

Eddie was starting to feel light, so light that he could have barely felt the floor under his feet anymore. He didn’t care about what the people were thinking, he didn’t care about what his mother was going to say. He didn’t care what the whole world was going to say.

“I can’t live this lie anymore. I’m sorry. I’m not in love with you.” He looked at Myra, but she genuinely looked more concerned about the flop of the wedding than the latest revelation. “I’m in love with someone else.”

“You little, filthy, useless mother-“ Myra started, clenching her fists, almost as if she was ready to throw a punch.

“Watch your mouth, Myra. You’re in a church.”

Eddie’s heart swelled when he heard Richie’s voice. He looked as he stood up, looking vaguely amused and definitely surprised.

Eddie looked at him with wide eyes, without quite believing that Richie was actually there. At his wedding. After everything he had done, Richie was still there.

“Richie…” Eddie breathed, and a smiled tugged at the corners of his lips. “What are you doing here?”

Richie shrugged and buried his hands in his pockets, smiling back at him. “You know how it feels when you’re sad and instead of trying to feel better you just listen to sad music in order to get more sad? Well, I guess I needed to see you getting married to give up on the hopes to be with you.” He walked past the people sitting on his row and made his way towards him.

Eddie was definitely smiling. He let a shaky breath out and looked at him with so much love he could hear his own heart beating.

“Isn’t it romantic? The stripper has feelings.” Stan teased, and Myra’s bouquet dropped from her hands.

“Stripper!? I thought you were a dancer!” She looked between Eddie and Richie.

“It’s basically the same thing.” Richie explained, gesturing with his hands. “Except from the amount of clothes involved.”

“You are disgusting.” Sonia gritted out, looking at Richie with an expression of utter and pure disgust on her face.

“I’ve been called worse.” Richie dismissed her, smiling in a very sardonic kind of way.

“I’m sorry, Richie, I shouldn’t have-“ Richie shushed Eddie and winked at him, holding his hand out for him.

Eddie looked down at it, and then at his own. He took the wedding ring off and left it on the altar, under the shocked gaze of the priest. Myra gasped, and so did every single person in the church. Not that Eddie cared. Not anymore. “I’m sorry.” He simply said, glancing at Myra before he took Richie’s hand and letting the taller man pull him between his arms.

“I should have brought popcorn.” Stan said, shaking his head and sighing. “This is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.”  

“Eddie standing up for himself and getting what he wanted?” Ben asked, empathically.

“What? No. This shit show. _This_ is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.”

Mike snorted and shook his head, while everyone else was still trying to keep up with what was going on. Eddie looked at his mother, who had never had such a disappointed look on her face, then up at Myra.

“I’m doing a favor to the both of us.” He told her, making her scoff and shake her head.

“You are the biggest disappointment of my entire life.” Sonia spat out, red in the face and with a strand of grey hair falling on her face. “I didn’t raise you to be a faggot! This prostitute has corrupted you!” She gestured in Richie’s direction.

“He is not a prostitute.” Eddie immediately defended him.

“Really? Can I have my money back, then?” Stan said, referring to the night of the bachelor party, and Ben glared at him.

“What!? What money?” Myra asked, eyes even wider than before.

 

* * *

 

 

“I think every single one of my things is currently being destroyed.” Eddie chuckled, ghosting his fingers over the bare skin of Richie’s chest. “God, I’ll have to find  new flat.”

Richie kissed his temple and brushed Eddie’s messy hair away from his forehead.  They were lying in Richie’s bed, legs tangled together and sheet tossed around their sweaty and sticky bodies. Eddie was still trying to catch his breath after his mind-blowing orgasm, feeling sated and weirdly careless for someone who had chickened out of a wedding less than four hours prior.

“Fuck, did I really said all of that in front of my mother? Is this afterlife? I’m dead, ain’t I? I’m dead because Myra killed me with her bare hands and this is my little slice of paradise.” He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Richie, smiling at him.

Hid dark curls were sweaty and messy, his cheeks were slightly flushed and his lips still glistening with spit and swollen.

Richie was so beautiful and Eddie loved him so much.

“Faggots don’t go to paradise, Eddie.” Richie teased him, and Eddie snorted and slapped his side, making him laugh as well and squirm away.

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.” Eddie laughed, shaking his head and leaning down to press a lingering and loving kiss to his lover’s lips.

His _lover_.

Richie was his lover.

Richie Tozier, dancer by day and stripper by night, was Eddie Kaspbrak’s lover.

"Richie?" Eddie ran his fingers over Richie's sharp jaw, smiling at him. 

"Mh?" He hummed, looking up at him with soft, tired eyes. 

_I love you so much._

"Nothing. Let's go to sleep." Eddie shook his head and kissed him again, then rested his head against his chest. 

He had all the time in the world. 

And maybe _that_ was how things were supposed to be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear what you thing about this piece of shit of a one shot :')


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